J&J's "Nothing but Tears" campaign

This is pretty funny from the Onion.

Johnson and Johnson has unveiled their "Nothing but Tears" campaign, because as the ad says, "it's never too early to grow the hell up."

"We at Johnson & Johnson have been making bath time a safe and soothing experience for far too long," company CEO William C. Weldon said. "Years of pampering have left our newborns helpless, feeble, and ill-equipped for the arduous road ahead."

"It's time our children got the wake-up call that's been coming to them," Weldon continued. "It's time they cried their precious little eyes out."